Yes, maybe, probably, I guess so.., ummm lemme think?, are you kiddin' me?, did I loose something?, i'm too busy to think about it.
'LOOK FOR GOD!' - really? can we look for God?
When in school my mom would say 'study hard', 'how are you gonna make it if u don't study?', 'it is a competitive world', 'With education u get respect as a bonus', 'If u don't make i'm gonna marry u off as soon as possible', 'u need to make it on ur own' etc.. Nope, nothing really worried me that much. I didn't care if I was a topper, I was not competitive and I loved being lazy.. College changed things for me. I wanted to be a topper, I wanted competition and I could not be lazy. I worked part time, I enjoyed the independence. After completion of Bachelors from Chennai, I lived my dream. Moving to Singapore was the best decision made. For a few months though, I did give up on my dream and looked for something else, something I didn't want from within. That didn't last long enough, such things never last and good things also don't.
Things happen for a reason. This what we tell ourselves in our lowest of times. Do u know the reason? Then how do u conclude? U don't, u just move and something else comes up, it always does.
I never knew what I could do to make my life more meaningful. I am born in a Jain family. Every Jain says "we are lucky to be born a Jain". I never could or do understand this. "I am lucky to be born to such wonderful parents, who in their hardest times gave my brother and I more than what we could have wished for". I believe in karma? hear me out for my vague reasons 'I believe in Karma because as a kid till date every time I spoke negative or thought bad about someone or something I would kick my finger or toe into the door, obviously not by choice'. Jainism is mostly about karma, live and let live. I totally agree with this. But as a Jain, I don't do Samaik(jain prayers).
I am married now, and women here do ask me why I don't do Samaik or visit their Jain camps.
Until I started involving and educating myself on the science of soap-making and skincare, I had no idea this even existed. Some people get what they're looking for or rather what they are good at, at an early stage in their lives. Its not the same with every one, it sure wasn't for me. A lot of things interested me but nothing was even close to my calling. I was never a very bright, outstanding person. As I started researching on soap-making, I realized I could grasp the concept, the chemistry behind turning oils into soap. The first time I made a small batch, I could see the phases practically and it excited every nerve in my body. It started with an addiction and now I love it. I have new plans and ideas and I enjoy working. I finally have 'my peace of mind'.
So what next? Nothing, 'I have found my Peace of mind'. Not until a few days ago, I realized what I was looking for. It was there in front me when I made a batch of Choco-fudge. I was on a philosophical mode that day. Wrote a note to myself 'I am peaceful'. I am peaceful every time I make soap. Yeah, u think I'm weird? I ask u 'Where is ur peace of mind?'. I take stress like nobody's business, being calm and finding my Peace of Mind was God Smiling at me.
So, I thank my mom for forcing me into Science in school. I hated her for this for a long time.
I thank my parents, husband and many other people in my life for encouraging me to move forward. A Big thanks to those who do not like what I do, I need them too, to balance out all the positive. I thank all my colleagues at K2B International, Singapore for that is where I started out my professional life which gave me ample room to grow as a person.
To those who have been asking me to do 'Samaik' or visit our Jain Guru's, I am Jain, its not going to change. Just that I see things differently, spending time making soap, developing skincare, practicing Yoga is my meditation. I am the calmest and most Peaceful at these times. This is my religion.
It's true 'One finds God in the weirdest of places' . GOD = PEACE OF MIND
Xoxo